A New Decision

So about.....10 minutes ago I decided I want to learn to speak Italian. Crazy,right? Maybe not, but I still want to. Languages have always interested me and people say I have a knack for them. First I desperately wanted to learn Spanish, but gave up. Previously I was on a French kick. But I realised those two languages are way too common. Everyone knows a smattering of French and most people could probably have a decent Spanish conversation. But how many Americans do you know that speak fluent Italian? Not a lot, especially teenagers. Except, of course, for those who live in Italian families, like my friend Giovanna.I can't really roll my R's, and I think Italians can..........but I will figure it out. I already checked out several books from the library and signed up for an Italian chat group on gmail. I don't know if I will be excepted, or not, but it's still interesting. Maybe they can help me.I 've always wanted a pen pal, now I have a... google-pal?Now, how do you say goodbye in Italian? I know bonjourno is hello.Voila?

The Story

I decided that my story deserved to be told sooner rather than later. I just want to say, that by telling you this, I want you to better understand me. One morning in the summer before second grade I woke up to find all of my dad's stuff gone, along with his car. When I asked my mom what happened, she said that daddy wasn't going to be living with us anymore. Being young and sensitive, I cried for days. Most young kids think it's their fault if their parents divorce, but I was just confused. My parents never fought, not even late at night like most divorced couples do.Don't get me wrong, my mother hates my dad, just in a more quiet,vicious way.I discovered a year ago why they separated. My dad was looking at....wait, I will tell you in a minute. Let me fast forward to over a year ago. I found out my dad was gay. Big shock, right? If you knew me, you would never guess. I didn't find out from my dad. I already kind of guessed, considering I would see him and his-what I know is now- boyfriend cuddled up late at night whenever I spent the night at his house.My mother told me, I think it was to make me hate him as much as she did. For the next few months after that I was kind of standoffish with him. It wasn't his being gay that made me mad, I really don't mind that, it was that he couldn't tell me himself. Was he ashamed? We might never know.....but back to the story. I have to tell you, my dad is one of those painfully nice people, he never gets mad, and he's kind of a pushover. Right before school started, my dad went to jail. I didn't even get to say goodbye to him. My mom was enough of a snob to tell me while I was at my friend's house. My friend actually hugged me. Erica isn't really the touchy-feely type so it meant a lot to me.My mother told me he was going to be there for four years. It was then that I matured. I really understand why He did this, without this important event I would've been immature and shallow for the rest of my life.This last summer I received a letter from my dad explaining everything.The prosecutor on his case had called him a threat to society. My own mother told the police he was violent so when they arrested him they threw him on the floor.I will tell you why he's in jail: possession of child pornography.Hardcore, right? This whole ordeal has left me messed up. I know have abandonment issues and trust issues and OCD. I've been tested for that last one, the results came up positive. You would think that with what they did, I would hate my parents. On the contrary, I love them. I just don't trust them. Especially my mom. She's vindictive. To tell you the truth, I get very creeped out by the way she looks at me sometimes and how she touches my sisters and I. I'm probably just paranoid, but with good cause. Everyone seems to think that my dad or his boyfriend,Jeremy, sexually harassed me. They didn't.They both like guys,OK?.............so now you know my story.

Greetings

OK,so the first thing you need to know is my name.I'm Cece. To tell you the truth, I don't really know why I started this blog. I'm guessing it's because some things need to be told. Some stories can make the world open its eyes and see things for how they are. To me, society's version of beauty is very messed up.But, I'm not going to rant. Instead, let me tell you about myself:
I'm a person who knows what they want and will do whatever it takes to get it. But I try to take things as they are, and not freak out about every single little thing. Most of my friends will tell you I'm crazy or weird or eccentric. And they are all right. Normal is boring. I play piano and trombone. I'm very,very serious about music, sometimes too serious, as my band teacher would probably say. I don't want to be a music major in college, I want to be a psychology major(hence the title of my blog). My mother sometimes says I have an inferiority complex, but I don't. I have self-confidence! I haven't had the easiest life in the world, but we'll get to that later. I hate to sound egotistical, but I'm a complex individual. I can be the calmest, most mellow person you will ever meet, and I can also be the biggest OCD-ridden, perfectionist in the world.I like to think I'm at least slightly intelligent,but I guess you'll be the judge of that. I have two beautiful older sisters and a dog. I'd like to say I have a mother and a father, but to tell you the truth I have lost trust in them. You should know right now that it wasn't the divorce that took away the trust, that happened when I was in 2nd grade, I don't care about that anymore. I now understand that under the circumstances that my parents couldn't be married. I'm a very open person,even though I know deep down that you can't trust anyone. Not even your parents. But onto happier stuff, I love the outdoors. I practice archery occasionally and love to read. Glad to meet you.